INSIGHTAotearoa
A newsletter for New Zealand's insight meditation practitioners and communities
kanya @ insightaotearoa.org | http://www.insightaotearoa.org
Tuesday August 2, 2011
The theme of this issue is ‘Relationships’.
Kia Ora,
In this newsletter you’ll find…
EDITORIAL: The Dharma of Relating
REFLECTION I: Not Knowing is Most Intimate, John Tarrant
POEM: The Cookie Thief
REFLECTION II: The Dharma of Relationship, Phillip Moffitt
WISE WORDS: John Welwood
REFLECTION III: Relationships as Spiritual Practice, Ezra Bayda
POEM: Tears of a Yogi, Christopher Titmuss
CULTIVATING THE DHARMA GARDEN: Relationships in the Dharma Garden
THEMES: For upcoming issues
SANGHA NEWS & NOTICES
IN COMMUNITY: Retreats, Workshops, Courses, Talks & Special Events
RESOURCES: for Dharma study and support
THE LAST WORD: Eckhart Tolle
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EDITORIAL: The Dharma of Relating.
Relationship is at the very centre of our lives, whenever we connect, we come into relationship. Our first experience is within the family we grow up with. In our early years we establish patterns of relating, ones which serve us well, and ones which lead to conflict, isolation and difficulty. These earlier experiences resonate with us most of our lives.
Until we come into contact with the dharma, or begin to do some form of inquiry, we can think that how we relate is just the way we are. But of course we have a choice – a choice to act responsibly and with generosity, setting aside old habits of blame and judgement. In my own experience, it was the very painful ending of a marriage that finally enabled me to see my patterns of delusion and denial. It was also the cause for turning towards the dharma as I sought a wiser way to engage in life.
All relationship arises out of our relationship to ‘self’. This is the place where we can do the work required so that we can have healthy, life-affirming relationships – with our own being, with those closest to us, and within the wider sphere of engagement. As we practice, we see more clearly how we are relating. With honesty and integrity, we know more deeply our capacity to harm and cause damage to ourselves and others. This seeing clearly is a prerequisite for greater wisdom and compassion in all of our relationships.
I hope you enjoy this month’s theme and find some wisdom and inspiration that will nourish and support your own experience of relationship.
with metta,
Kanya Stewart
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REFLECTION I: Not Knowing is Most Intimate
Having a meditation practice is a way of fully entering your life, without reservation. When you meditate, when you sit and notice without assessing how you’re doing, you just show up for your life. In the moment of meditation, nothing is required of you. It’s enough to be here on the planet, to experience a moment of presence, to fully honor the gift of being alive. And it is a gift, one that just comes to you. You don’t have to ask.
If we don’t show up for our own life, we tend to ask other people to fill in the bits we won’t show up for. That makes it hard on them. So love begins with really showing up. And practice helps. It’s a way of not dodging the difficult, painful bits. It’s also not dodging the beauty and the marvel of life, the wonder and our capacity to connect to others. Love starts there.
But we often make a few really basic errors. We sometimes have the idea that a relationship is like a machine, one we can fix if we put the right oil on it or replace a few sprockets. We also can think that a relationship is a matter of calculating the sums of good and bad, what we’re getting and not getting.
If we start looking at other people as a gift, it helps us out of these traps. I have a teenage daughter and I’m close to her. You notice with a child that you show up without wanting a lot in return. It’s not an exchange: give this, get that. It could be like that in all our relationships, with lovers, teachers, friends, what have you. It’s not a trade. The word bodhichitta conveys wanting to open our own hearts and minds because it’s good for the world, not just for us (but it is good for us, too). Bodhichitta is not esoteric; it’s a fundamental human experience. It’s part of the nature of mind.
Relationship is not an event isolated from our spiritual practice. We’re involved in a relationship because we’re on our path. We have a practice and somehow our relationship has become part of our practice. It’s not something different from our practice. It’s not this thing over there that makes me happy so I can have a practice over here. It’s not the other thing that pays the rent or gets me laid. It’s part of practice.
There’s a long arc to love, just the way there’s a long arc to having a spiritual practice. When you’re on that long arc, you don’t say, “I tried meditation once, and I didn’t get what I wanted, so it’s not right for me.” If you have a spiritual practice in your life, you’re actually showing up for your life. If your mind is restless and uneasy, you’re showing up for your mind being restless and uneasy. If you stop fighting it, stop thinking it should be different, if you allow a little bit of an opening — even just having compassion for your inability to have compassion — the donkey will start to turn toward home.
You don’t have to be good at this stuff. You just have to have a little bit of turning toward it and it will start teaching you and giving you gifts. It’s much better to do a spiritual practice really badly than not to do it. In fact, it’s much better to do a spiritual practice really badly than to do it well, because if you’re doing it badly you’ll probably learn something, so long as you keep doing it.
A while ago my mother was dying. I traveled home, went to the hospital, held her hand, and sat with her. The next morning she was still alive, so I did the same thing. Meanwhile, my sisters were negotiating with the nurses about oxygen levels, my father was trying to encourage mom to stay in this world, to eat for him (“May I tempt you with just a spoonful of this custard, Allison?”), and my mom was holding off my dad with garlic and crosses. But I didn’t have anything to do, no special role, and I began to think that was probably good. I noticed that when I wanted anybody in that room to be different, it became rather painful. “Dad, ease up. I mean, she’s dying. She doesn’t want to eat.” Or, “Mom, he just loves you and he’s trying to be helpful and it probably would help if you ate.” Or, “Girls, you could relax; the oxygen is not going to help her now.” I had all those let’s-improve-the-world thoughts, but I noticed that when I didn’t go with those, everything was completely at peace. People were doing what they were doing because they needed to. Who am I to know what they should be doing? It was beautiful appreciating how much they cared about each other.
The koan for that situation is, “Not knowing is most intimate.” What if someone shouldn’t be improved? Maybe if they gave up smoking, they’d turn out to be a serial killer. How about not wanting to change others? How about not wanting to change yourself?
We spend a lot of time whipping the donkey. If we stopped doing that, we might find we change in unexpected ways, and others do as well. Most projects to change other people or ourselves are really projects about interior decoration for the prison. A spiritual practice is really about jail breaking. When you show up for your life, what kind of ride do you want to take? Do you want to spend your time telling other people they should be different?
Love means bearing people’s differences without trying to change them — not just bearing, but valuing and appreciating and loving people’s uniqueness. That’s a path all by itself. What if the fact that you’re different from me is a gateway rather than an obstacle?
John Tarrant, ‘Shambala Sun’, 2008
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POEM: The Cookie Thief
A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”
With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude,
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude!
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.
She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.
If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.
How many times in our lives,
have we absolutely known
that something was a certain way,
only to discover later that
what we believed to be true … was not?
Valerie Cox
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REFLECTION II: The Dharma of Relationship
If you want to try making relationship your yoga, there are three models of healthy manifestations of love that you might consider exploring. Mindfulness can help you with each. The first is what I call “two healthy egos at the center,” which is based on a balanced, honest exchange between two people.
This is the modern ideal of what relationships and intimacy are supposed to be. It is a union of equals, a partnership. Each partner desires to act in a way that is helpful, empowering, and loving to the other. And likewise, each partner expects to receive an equal amount of attention and help in return. This fair exchange includes mutual decision making, sharing of the work, and equal respect for the values and needs of each other.
In a healthy version of this partnership exchange, each person genuinely wants to be fair in giving to the other. This means that even if one partner has some advantage, such that he does not have to give as much as he receives, there is still no exploitation. Each partner gives a fair exchange, ignoring any power advantage. Why? Because each person believes that giving love to the other is a reward in itself. Therefore, the relationship has warmth and spontaneity at its core.
You can see why this kind of relationship requires two healthy egos. If either one of you always feels needy or inadequate, the capacity for generosity of spirit is lacking. Not that you are always going to feel and act loving toward each other, or that you are always supposed to be in agreement about what is fair or whether you or your partner is doing his or her share. What matters is your intention to base the relationship on a fair exchange, and you trust each other that this is so. You can use mindfulness to stay present in a partnership relationship and to acknowledge “what is” rather than what your ego wants to be true. Your practice can help you avoid defensiveness and getting caught in fear, and help you give up being controlled by your needs. When the partnership model fails, it is because one or both partners aren’t in touch with their own emotions or because of unrealistic expectations. The relationship deteriorates into dysfunctional cynicism, and bargaining takes over as both partners try to protect themselves.
From the perspective of using romantic love as a path to spiritual development, the partnership relationship model is ultimately limited, because your happiness and sense of well-being are based on having your ego needs met. You are not establishing an independent, inner relationship to the love energy that is associated with Spirit. The dharma teaches that everything changes, including relationships – you get sick, or the other person is injured, or your needs change. Something will happen that will cause your ego to take a loss, and you will not have prepared yourself by establishing a more lasting basis for happiness.
TRUST IN LOVE
The second option for a healthy relationship includes some or all of the healthy exchange of the partnership, but is based more on the idea of love being connected to Spirit. I call this option “love and ego at the center.” In the partnership model, your ego sense of self is at the center of the relationship and the relationship is about having your sense of self become ever more healthy. In this second option, your ego is still at the center, but the center has expanded to include a direct experience of love that is independent of ego needs. Therefore, love shares the center with you, and both you and your partner can become the beneficiaries of that love.
Can you see how radically different this type of relationship is? How many more possibilities of a meaningful life it offers to those who are ready for it? You are no longer keeping score, because you are not thinking in terms of an exchange, but rather your primary relationship is with love itself. Your partner represents your commitment to connection and non-separation, just as was true with courtly love. He or she is the recipient and the inspiration for your deeper relationship to love, but you are not requiring him or her to buy, barter, or otherwise earn your love in any way.
This model will not work in an unhealthy relationship; it has to be enacted with someone who can at least meet the partnership model of love. When love and ego are at the center, you are not abandoning or martyring yourself. Instead, you are giving up certain expectations, which means that your relationship to the energy of love is not dependent on your partner. Your capacity to love grows based on your ever-deepening maturity. The delight in giving happiness to another is at the core. You see your partner through the lens of love, not because he or she is perfect, but because love is not about judging, keeping score, or seeking advantage. It is simply expressing itself.
In this type of relationship, your partner might be less than you desire and there may be many challenges, but these disappointments are not devastating to you, because your happiness is based on the experience of non-selfish love. It is similar to a parent’s love for a child. If that love is healthy, the parent does not measure love with the child nor expect an equal exchange; it is the feeling of pleasure in giving that is important. This expanded notion of love is possible only if you believe there is an energetic space in the psyche that is love, with which you can enter into a relationship.
You can see why this option of loving invigorates your dharma practice. Your ego, although still at the center, is slowly transformed by this love that is not based on ego needs. It is this kind of love energy that leads to the Buddhist bodhichitta vow of dedication to the liberation of all beings. You are moving from a personal, self-interested love to an impersonal love that can spread from your partner to other people, and finally to all beings.
In this relationship model, all three aspects of love – agape, eros, and filia – are present and engaging you; however, it is the emphasis on selfless love that makes it such a rich option. You can also be the one who loves love in other aspects of your life. For instance, if you have others reporting to you at work, you can extend your relationship from simply being the one in charge, expecting others to perform, to one who mentors and helps them succeed. In a true mentoring role, you go beyond mere exchange. You may well help others grow to the point that they leave you for a better job. What you receive is the satisfaction of watching them grow and the pleasure of knowing that you are supporting transformation in another person. You can do the same in friendships and in your extended family.
The shadow side of this option is that it can deteriorate into a codependent relationship or martyrdom, neither of which is love – neither is compassionate or skillful. This option can also be misused to rationalize or avoid something that needs to be negotiated, or to manipulate the other person, or to deny your own feelings. Mindfulness helps prevent these shadow sides from occurring.
TRUST IN THE DHARMA
The third option for making relationship your yoga I call “love alone at the center.” This represents the practice of fully surrendering all or part of your ego wants in your relationship. You give up any expectation that your needs will be met. If they’re met, that’s great; if they’re not, your practice is to pay no mind and not allow your giving of love to be affected. This is the ultimate practice in non-attachment and in making your relationship your dharma. Not that you submit to abusive or destructive behavior, but rather you forsake normal expectations. Sounds daunting, doesn’t it? It shows how dominant the partnership model is.
The very idea of approaching a relationship in this manner seems strange or even dysfunctional. So why would you consider such an option? The people that I know who have chosen this path have done so for one of two reasons: Either their relationship was bad but they didn’t think leaving was the right thing to do (and they had a spiritual practice as well as a network of support that could sustain them in such an undertaking), or they were in a healthy relationship but were so far along in their practice that it seemed like the natural next step toward their liberation. A “love alone at the center” relationship in which both people have the healthy ability to love is inspiring to witness. And in the few instances I have known in which someone was practicing this option in a difficult situation, it was quite beautiful and even more inspiring. It was as if the human spirit was conquering dukkha (the unsatisfactory aspects of life) with love. I want to stress that this option is not about sacrificing yourself or allowing wrong action. It simply means responding to daily frustrations and disappointments with love, over and over again. This is hard work, and to do it you have to genuinely let go of attachment. No wonder Ram Dass called it the hardest yoga!
A less challenging practice is to let go of your expectations in a single area of the relationship. I know many people who have encountered one area of continual dissatisfaction in a relationship, vowed to love their way through it, and succeeded in doing so. In those situations, the other parts of the relationship were sufficiently strong to justify such a choice. By letting go in just one aspect of need in their relationship, those people experienced genuine growth that empowered the rest of their lives.
If you are considering this third option, you would never announce it to your partner. It is something you do internally. Your relationship to this kind of love is fragile and needs to be guarded from either of you using it in a manipulative manner in your moments of tension. Obviously, you do need to talk with someone you trust and respect to do a reality check with yourself. It is also OK to try this option and not be able to do it. It does not mean that you are a failure; it simply means that it was not an appropriate expression for you at that time.
Copyright 2003 by Phillip Moffitt, www.lifebalanceinstitute.com
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WISE WORDS
It is only when we can let our fear be, and hold it in a friendly space, that we can be present with our loved ones in their fear, or when they are doing something that stirs up our fear. We only react to others with blame and rejection when their experience mirrors or provokes some feeling in ourselves that we cannot relate to in a friendly way. In this way, developing loving-kindness toward the whole range of our own experience naturally allows us to have loving-kindness toward others.
John Welwood
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REFLECTION III: Relationships as Spiritual Practice
Considering the amount of suffering that arises from relationships, it’s surprising that the Buddha didn’t include them in his list of the primary causes of suffering, along with sickness, old age, and death. One thing is certain: relationships, like serious illnesses, push us right to the edge of where we’re stuck. Stephen Levine has noted that relationship, though not the easiest method for finding peace, is certainly the most effective for discovering what blocks it.
The fact that relationships often bring the most painful and unhealed aspects of our life out of the shadows makes them a potentially powerful teacher. But let’s be honest, who actually wants such a teacher? What do we really want from relationships? We want what we want! We want someone to fulfill our needs, someone who will make us feel good, give us security, appreciation, affection, and love.
As soon as a conflict arises and we feel threatened in some way, we tend to forget all about relationships as a vehicle of awakening. We tenaciously hold on to our views, judgments, and need to be right. We protect and defend our self-image. We close down or lash out. And, believing in all these reactions as the unquestioned truth, we perpetuate our suffering. As we continue to do this, the disappointment we cause ourselves and others becomes a pain we can’t ignore. That’s the beauty of relationships as spiritual practice. The pain motivates us to awaken; disappointment is often our best teacher. This is when practice can really begin. But this view of relationship is very different from what we have been taught.
Ezra Bayda, 2003, ‘At Home in the Muddy Water: A Guide to Finding Peace Within Everyday Chaos’, Boston USA, Shambala, p 71
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POEM: Tears of a Yogi
I sat opposite her when her tears joined the cheeks
like long, slow raindrops on a summer’s night.
looking intently across, I witnessed
her innocence as she gently brought
her knees to her chin
to comfort a forlorn heart
No sound emerged in the intimacy of those tears
she confided only in the quiet evening air
I could feel the pounding of her heart
with the swell of her being filling a single moment.
Her breast heaved with a quiet power
to break the dams of restraints and hardened walls
letting the tears again create downward rivulets.
I said nothing.
I had nothing to offer.
Except presence.
She said later that was more than enough.
Christopher Titmuss.
Insight Meditation teacher, poet, and author of numerous books, Christopher Titmuss is the founder and director of the Insight Facilitators Programme. He is the co-founder of Gaia House Retreat Centre in Devon, England.
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CULTIVATING THE DHARMA GARDEN: Relationships in the Dharma Garden
The relationships in the garden that I find most interesting (and most mysterious) are the ones between plants which help or hinder each other. Some trees (e.g. hoherias) put out substances in their roots which discourage other species from growing near them, while walnuts give the same ‘stay away’ message with their fallen leaves. There are lots of other examples of plants which do not want to relate closely to those that are not part of their own species, and the gardener needs to note what they are in order to keep everyone happy.
On the plus side of the ledger are the plants that actively help each other, a characteristic which gardeners can put to good use by planting them side by side. The usual name for such a planting strategy is ‘companion planting’ and one can buy whole books (such as ‘Carrots love tomatoes!’) that explain which veges like to grow together and which are best kept apart. I have never had time to do this systematically, but I have tinkered with planting what I hoped would be pest-repellent plants (the artemisia or wormwood family) near cabbages to see if this would be a good protective relationship – but no such luck.
The science of what is going on underneath the soil to make a plant relationship supportive or otherwise is fascinating, and there is still so much to learn in this regard to help us garden with nature, rather than against it. I sometimes wonder if one can extrapolate from plants to humans. Are some types just meant to get on with each other, while others will never click? We like to think we can use our will and our reason to over-ride instant attractions or repulsions where it seems to make sense to do so, but how often do we find that despite our best efforts we become fond of someone ‘unsuitable’, and just can’t bond with someone who appeals to others? I doubt there will ever be a science of what is going on in the soil of our souls, but meditation can be a good way of investigating the basis of our relationships with others.
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THEMES: for upcoming issues
Short contributions from readers (original or fully attributed) on the theme of the month are welcomed. Please email them to the Editor – kanya @ insightaotearoa.org
SEPTEMBER 2011 Dealing with Difficult Emotions: Sunday August 28.
OCTOBER 2011 Radical Contentment: Sunday September 25.
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SANGHA NEWS & NOTICES
NOTICE: Seeking support for February 2012 visit by Stephen and Martine Batchelor
Martine and Stephen Batchelor will be returning to New Zealand in February 2012 to give two public talks, a residential retreat and a day long retreat. Their schedule is:
Friday 17th – Auckland – public talk Sat 18th – Auckland – day long retreat Sunday 19th to 26th – Riverslea Retreat Centre, Otaki – residential retreat
Monday 27th – Wellington – public talk “Becoming Human – Buddhist Practice in a Post-Christian World” at St Andrews on The Terrace from 5.30pm
Their visit is being coordinated by Derek LeDayn – derek.ledayn @ gmail.com or 021 355 225.
Contributions towards their travel costs can be made through the Aotearoa Buddhist Education Trust – http://www.abet.net.nz
'''IN COMMUNITY:
RETREATS, WORKSHOPS, COURSES, TALKS & SPECIAL EVENTS'''
1. Meditation Courses, DUNEDIN, July-August 2011
Insight Meditation teacher and practitioner Ellen Furnari has recently moved to Dunedin and is offering the following two courses at the Otago University Students Association, starting at the end of July. To register for the courses go to
http://www.ousa.org.nz/events-and-recreation/clubs-and-courses/course-details/relaxation/
The courses are open to all, and cost $20 for Otago University students and staff, and $24 for others.
1 (a) VIPASSANA (INSIGHT) MEDITATION
Vipassana (Insight) Meditation is a living Buddhist practice with a 2500 year history. It includes several forms of mediation which develop the capacity to see clearly and train your mind to stay present. Find the possibility for greater freedom, compassion and wisdom, leading to an increased sense of well being, clarity and friendliness.
Stream 1: July 25th – August 22nd
Day: Mondays (5.00pm-6.30pm)
Sessions: Five
1 (b) MINDFULNESS BASED STRESS REDUCTION
(MBSR) teaches you how to feel more relaxed and cope with the stress of school and other life events with greater wisdom, by being aware of how we react to stress and even unnecessarily increase it. MBSR results confirmed by research include decreased anxiety, increased alertness, and improvement in interpersonal relationships.
Stream 1: July 27th – August 24th
Day: Wednesdays (7:00pm–8:30pm)
Sessions: Five
2. THE OPEN HEART – WEST AUCKLAND, October 8/9, 10 – 5.30. A weekend workshop on awakening the heart through meditation and restorative yoga. Led by Peter Fernando & Wilhemeena Monroe.
$170 includes costs, dana and organic lunch both days.
Phone 09-8173051/email info @ soulcentre.co.nz
ON-LINE
Online Practice Group: Journey to the West
Are you housebound due to health or disability or far from a meditation group? We meet weekly for an hour via Skype conference call to reflect on practice and draw on the energy of our experience together as a reminder for practice. We presently have members from New Zealand, the UK, Canada, USA and Sweden and are part of the Unfettered Mind network. (http://www.unfetteredmind.org) Contact Ann: abraunw @ gmail.com, 03 544 2597
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RESOURCES: for Dharma study and support
1. Aung San Suu Kyi on freedom. Burmese democracy leader and Buddhist meditator Aung San Suu Kyi recently gave two secretly recorded lectures for the BBC’s Reith Lecture series. They are available as podcasts at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b012402s
2. Locally-produced Stephen Batchelor DVDs/on-line talks
The November 2010, panel discussion between Buddhist teacher Stephen Batchelor and Christian theologian Lloyd Geering at St Andrews on The Terrace in Wellington is now available as a DVD. A well attended meeting, the DVD includes responses to the questions which were put by a lively audience. The topic of the evening’s discussion was “Can Christianity and Buddhism Remain Relevant in the 21st Century?”.
Also available is a DVD of the talk that Stephen Batchelor gave at the National Library in Wellington in December 2004 on the topic of his book “Living With The Devil”.
Produced by the Wellington Insight Meditation community, each DVD costs $30, including postage. To get one or more DVDs, make a deposit into the WIMC account at Kiwibank 38 9010 0244181 00 with the reference ‘Geering Batchelor DVD’, “Batchelor DVD” or “both DVDs”. At the same time send a message to treasurer @ wimc.org.nz letting treasurer Janice Hill know how much you’ve deposited, which DVDs you want along with your postal address.
Alternatively, send a cheque to WIMC, PO Box 6626, Marion Square, Wellington 6141 with a letter stating which DVD you want, and how many copies.
OR You can watch both the 2010 panel discussion and the 2004 talk online at http://www.wimc.org.nz.
3. ‘MINDFULNESS IN PLAIN ENGLISH’
This excellent basic guide to Insight meditation by the Ven Henepola Gunaratana can now be downloaded from http://www.urbandharma.org/dharma4/mpe.htm
4. AOTEAROA BUDDHIST EDUCATION TRUST
A charitable trust which raises funds to bring insight meditation teachers to New Zealand.
To find out more visit http://www.abet.net.nz
5. INSIGHT MEDITATION IN AOTEAROA ON THE WEB
http://www.insightmeditation.org.nz - information on New Zealand’s insight meditation practitioners and communities
http://www.insightaotearoa.org – the website for this newsletter
http://www.southern.insightmeditation.org.nz – Christchurch sangha Southern Insight’s website
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THE LAST WORD: Eckhart Tolle
When you give your fullest attention to whoever you are interacting with, you take past and future out of the relationship except for practical matters. When you are fully present with everyone you meet, you relinquish the conceptual identity you made for them – your interpretation of who they are and what they did in the past – and are able to interact without the egoic movements of desire and fear. Attention, which is alert stillness, is the key.
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with metta, Christine Dann, Kanya Stewart – supported by Marianne Adams. Thanks to Ron Dubin & Caren Wilton for their technical expertise & support, and to Ilana Becroft and Margo Schiller, who send out the hard copy.